A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.
Someone once said that a true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age. I remember both. Shouldn’t that account for something?
Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.
It’s your birthday, and I must say, you certainly take the cake! And the ice cream. And all the rest of the snacks. Slow down and save some for the rest of us!
A New Year is the chance to start over with a clean slate. Too bad my credit card won’t start over with a blank slate.
1066, 1492, 1776, and…your birthday? The good news is that they aren’t teaching the date of your birth in history classes yet. The bad news is that means I don’t have the date memorized. Happy belated birthday!
You will be a little bit older, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser. Happy New Year!
The only reason you hate your birthday is because people give you odd gifts, scary cards with weird messages in them, and because you’re getting older. Happy Birthday!
I made you a birthday cake to celebrate, but I couldn’t light the candles. It turns out the fire department requires a permit for bonfires.
Men will spend 2 dollars on a 1 dollar item that they desperately need. Women will spend 1 dollar on a 2 dollar item that they don’t need at all.