It’s your birthday, and I must say, you certainly take the cake! And the ice cream. And all the rest of the snacks. Slow down and save some for the rest of us!
New Year’s Eve is finally here, where we can be drunk in public and no one minds. That’s why this is the best holiday.
Because I’m a guy, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.
Someone once said that a true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age. I remember both. Shouldn’t that account for something?
Don’t feel uncomfortable about your age. We will all one day get as old as you are.
A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.